Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.
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My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
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More Best Dad Jokes Ever
I'm reading a horror story in braille.
Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well.
The rotation of Earth really makes my day.