I'm addicted to brake fluid.

But I can stop whenever I want.

What do you call two octopuses that look the same?

What did the math teacher say about the student's geometry test?

More Best Dad Jokes

I'm thinking about removing my spine.

I feel like it's only holding me back.

To the man who invented zero:

Thanks for nothing.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type.

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.