A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.
He says, 'Two beers please. One for me and one for the road.'
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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too low.
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More Dad Jokes for Adults
I asked my wife if I was the only one she'd ever been with.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.