What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common?

They can both smell it but they can't eat it.

I was in bed with my wife last night and she said, "Turn the light off and stick it in my mouth."

My wife said that if I don't get off the computer she's going to slam my head on the keyboard.

More Dirty Dad Jokes

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?

I want you inside me.

What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet?

Chewing gum.