My marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

More Dirty Dad Jokes

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?

I want you inside me.

What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet?

Chewing gum.